


real love hurts

by orphan_account



Series: let me hold you (like a hostage) [1]
Category: Akira (Anime & Manga)
Genre: M/M, Possibly Unrequited Love, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, menrions of drugs, please give this a chanxe im begging you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2020-03-01 03:36:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18792181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: i wanna be alone - alone with you, does that make sense?





	real love hurts

**Author's Note:**

> mainly based on the 1988 movie because im a dumb bitch and didnt realize theres a manga

they’re both fifteen when tetsuo realizes that he’s completely and utterly fucked for being so smitten with kaneda.

* * *

at this point, the girls have gone home because they got too bored of them and it’s just the two of them, smoking and having very occasional, very small sips of alcohol. it’s not a good idea, and tetsuo realizes this because he’s a bit loose-lipped when it comes to being drunk.

kaneda will probably get absolutely shit-faced because they’re in his room and his parents have gotten into another argument this week. tetsuo doesn’t ask and kaneda doesn’t give any answers or reasonings.

tetsuo leans back and takes a small sip, knowing the weed will numb him. he knows his limits already so this . . .  
this couldn’t hurt. right?  
just to relax a little bit with a friend who he absolutely has a little crush on.

* * *

tetsuo agrees to popping pills and continues to smoke weed with kaneda.

* * *

it turns to shotgunning said weed and —  
kaneda’s hand is on his jaw and he never realized how long the other boy’s eyelashes are and how pretty his eyes look, even though they’re half-closed in a haze of highness.

* * *

they do this again, a few weeks later and kaneda smells like grease, and smoke and, shockingly, mint and it’s wonderful and too much and  
tetsuo forgets to inhale the smoke which causes questions from kaneda that he brushes off.

he can’t keep doing this  
can’t keep forcing himself into this torture.

* * *

he does it again anyway.

* * *

after maybe a month or so of doing this, kaneda slips a pill into his mouth — the ones they get from the bar — after a constant sober questions of consent if it’s really okay for tetsuo to pop some pills with him.

he takes the pills, and feels the slight press of kaneda’s thumb against his bottom lip.  
his mouth feels dry all of a sudden.

* * *

tetsuo thinks of ways to say ‘i love you’ to kaneda. preferably when theyre not doing their monthly — sometimes weekly, if it comes to that — sessions of being high and drunk.  
yes, he’s angry that he’ll always be the other’s shadow but.

as long as he stays at his side he’ll cherish it. and push his bubbling emotions — all of them — away in his heart. then lock his heart up and throw it into the sea of the abyss, where nobody can ever reach it.  
and, he supposed if they tried, they would drown.

* * *

he doesn’t say ‘i love you’ to kaneda.  
and he never will.

**Author's Note:**

> lmao i just finished this movie today and im dying.


End file.
